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How to Stalk Someone at UCI

posted Sep 27, 2009, 12:00 AM by Danny Eusebio

So you've met that special guy or gal you really like. Problem is, you didn't quite catch their last name. You two part ways and since UCI is so large, you'll probably never see that person ever again. And by that time, you've probably already lost interest in them. In this tutorial, we are going to show you not only how to find somebody at UCI, but give you the tools to be a full-fledged stalker. Hey, I'm warning you now. If you don't want to learn how to stalk you might as well stop reading this article. But I'm sure you're curious enough to learn how. 
(Image from http://www.thegeminigeek.com)


The UCI Website has made some remarkable improvements since my first year (4 years ago). Just trust me on it. It use to be a pile of crap, sadly to say. For some reason I honestly thought universities made websites so difficult to navigate so students would never apply to their school. Anyhow, if there's ever one thing you want to use on the UCI Website, its the Search Bar. Similar to how you would use Google, using the search bar will help you find UCI related stuff. But honestly, it's poorly explained.


1. Quick: If you select this option (by default), you will normally find the general item your trying to find. If you search for "bookstore" or "gym" you'll normally find your target. However, if you search for something obscure like "welcome week," the "Quick" option will not find anything. So, "Quick" option is useful for general items that has its own dedicated site like the bookstore, the arc, and or library.

2. Full: If you use this option, you will definitely find more information and links. Let's try searching  "Welcome Week one more time and see what results we get.  You'll notice something different. This time you will actually find information on what you were trying to find.

3. People: This last option is probably the crown jewel. If you ever need to track someone down, this is the one to click on. For example, if you search Danny in the list, you'll be shown a slew of names. 

If you have trouble finding a particular "Danny" make sure to use the "checkboxes 1 2 3" to help you isolate a particular person.
So which Danny are you trying to find. Well lets say that the Danny you met mentioned he was an Aerospace Engineer. Well, then you can conclude that its probably not "Danny Botero" or "Danny Chanchang." The Danny you are probably looking for is the 4th guy on the list who has "Engr AE" (Aerospace Engineering) is the one. Now you can click on the name to learn a little more.

When you click on the name you'll be shown a profile:
The majority of time, people will leave their profile blank. It's optional to add a picture if they so choose to.


Conclusion

Now, when you meet that person but don't quite remember their last name. Try using UCI Search to track the person down. After you find out who they are, you can search them up on Facebook to verify that its really them in their profile picture. At that point its up to you if you want to add them. Well, you officially have the tools to track and find someone on campus. You'll probably be known as a stalker now. I'm sure you weren't doing this already.
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